trust him: because life is a vapor

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Two words.

Honesty hour: hearing the Lord has been a struggle for the past couple of years. Which makes life super difficult for me. As I discussed in this post, I am a feeler, and I depend on my emotions and instincts for much of my day-to-day life. So when I don’t feel the Lord’s presence in my life, it’s easy to get discouraged. I begin to feel isolated, far from God and His people—even when my circumstances have not changed.

I have learned that in these times, my hope must lie in the One who never fails me. As I shared in my previous post, “He uses these times of silence to remind me that I need to depend on Him because He is good… not because He makes me feel good.”

After an extended time without feeling the presence of the Lord, He began to clearly speak to me a few months ago. I was excited to feel Him again, but to be completely candid, I was slightly disappointed with what He was saying. He only spoke two words:

Trust Me.

What, God, do I not trust You?? Of course I do! I know that you are sovereign, I know that you are good! How do I not trust you??

In asking these questions, I answered them.

If I trusted Him completely, I would understand that He asks things of us for a reason. If He’s telling me to trust Him, it’s because I need that reminder. And apparently, I’ve needed that reminder repeatedly—He has spoken these words into my heart several times over the past few months, in different ways and through various circumstances. I’ve decided to sum up these occurrences in a series of three posts, all entitled “trust Him”. So here we go.

Life is a vapor

I found myself in Ecclesiastes. Again.

This book of the Bible is easily in my top five. At times, it may even be my favorite piece of literature. The author’s words are simply relatable. He puts into words what many believers feel, but rarely dare to express: why do we even try? Though logic and wisdom say that good actions yield good results and bad actions yield bad ones, everyone knows that’s not always the case. Godly people often receive the apparent short end of the stick. So what’s the point of trying?

I’d encourage you to read the book yourself if it’s been a while (or maybe you never have). But in a few sentences, here’s what I’ve learned from this piece of wisdom literature.

  1. Life is fleeting.
  2. In the end, it’s all about God. What other option do I have but to serve Him?
  3. The things in our lives are constantly changing… and that’s okay. (Remember this post of mine? That includes relationships.)

The author repeatedly uses the Hebrew word hebel to describe all things that consume time on earth. Hebel can be translated as “vapor.” Our time here is fleeting, and all we invest in—whether self-indulgence, hard work, or even wisdom—are as a breath in the wind. Service to God makes is no exception; if anything, it feels like serving the Lord brings even more change to our lives as we follow His upward call.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecc. 3:1, ESV)

I usually only remember that “this too shall pass” when I’m going through something difficult. Like these quiet couple of years. This won’t last forever, I told myself. God will speak to me again soon. It is easy to forget that the good things are vaporous just the same.

Bittersweet goodbyes

The past two weeks have been bursting with goodbyes. It is truly the end of a chapter of my life—a chapter that has experienced few changes and has consumed several years of my time on earth.

I left my longtime job as a nanny and tearfully said adieu to the family that had become like my own; I moved out of my grandma’s home and back to my parents’; and I wrapped up my time serving in my church’s youth group with young ladies I love dearly.

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I have long sensed that this season of my life was coming to a close. I have cherished this time and the relationships that have blossomed, but this—even the good stuff—shall pass. There was a time for all of these sweet things, but I am now preparing to move on to a fresh season. Moving away from all of the things that have been constant in my life for the past few years required an abundance of trust in the Lord. Hence, His call to trust Him. He knew that I would need to trust Him to provide on a whole new level.

What am I moving on to that puts the “sweet” in “bittersweet goodbyes”? Sorry to leave you hanging, but I’ll explore that in part two of this little series—look for it next week!